For $100, I'll Perform Sad Trombone At Your Divorce Hearing - Heavy Cotton Tee Size:3XL

For $100, I'll Perform Sad Trombone At Your Divorce Hearing - Heavy Cotton Tee Size:3XLI'm also available for weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, and corporate layoffs. And you better believe I'm shamelessly shoving as many wrapped bandwiches as I can fit into my gig bag.

this deliciously obscure zip hoodie design will be almost as refined as your most recent Rochut etude

and this shirt happens to be that line

and next thing you know this guy came out

and corporate layoffs

but that sounds like it could get painful

Show off the full spectrum of your nerddom with this glorious

It is a well-known fact that Godzilla was a virtuosic trombonist

There's a fine line between humility and self-loathing

It's as if the composer couldn't bear the thought of leaving any blank space without justifying it to the scrutinizing eyes of their players

wear it to your next gig and let everyone know that you're not afraid of a little empty space

So open-carry your ankle-strapped soprano trombones and mouthpiece sash with confidence next time you stop into Barstow Station

This is nothing more than a tribute to one of the greatest saxophone players to ever live